If The G had £1,000,000 . . . .

This house or 10 bags of plastic pineapples?

I fear that a house move might be imminent.

It's The G, you see.

She has identified her dream home.

Two things that appeal here, one rather obvious, the other a little less so.

The former, that the house in question has been painted bright pink.

The latter, that it has lots of windows.

The Pink House, as it has become known, cannot be passed these days without The G declaring: 'I'd like to live in it'.

Two problems spring to mind:

1) It isn't for sale.

2) The last time it was, it was valued at close to one million pounds.

That puts it a little beyond our reach, I'm afraid, although explaining such financial intricacies to The G is not a simple task.

In her mind, a basket of plastic fruit costs £100,000.

In those terms, The Pink House's price tag seems rather reasonable . . . .